I hate a lot of things. And a watch a lot of television. So it goes without saying that I hate a lot of things on television, e.g. Nancy Grace, the 700 Club, Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee, The Fox News Channel. But more than I hate any of these things -- and I hate Nancy Grace A LOT -- I hate a program I've never even watched: "John and Kate Plus Eight."
Although I've never see this wretched new low in reality television, I know all about it. Because you can't watch anything on the Discovery Channel, Food Network, or TLC without coming across promos for it. So, let's see if I can get the premise of this show without having ever seen an actual episode:
All-American, middle class parents have two kids. But they decide that two aren't enough. Like most Americans, what they have isn't good enough. They want more (so do I - I'm one of those Americans who wants more - but for me that means more shoes. Or more cookies.). So, they decide to have another kid. But wait! Oh noes! The missus can't get pregnant. So instead of looking into adoption or just thinking, "Well, we have two great kids and that's good for us" they have some sort of fertilization treatment. But fertilization treatments are costly. So, they go to some doctor who decides to hedge their bet and implant a lot of fertilized eggs into the Missus. You know, so they don't have to pay for more treatments (cuz treatments are expensive and Mr. and Missus All-American's insurance probably doesn't cover that). They hope one will take.
But all the eggs "take." So, one again, instead of being sensible and selectively terminating some of them, they decide to have them all. Six total. (that is where the "Plus Eight" part comes into the title: 2+6=8). I will hazard to guess that the kids spent a good amount of time in intensive care at who-knows-what-cost. Thanks, taxpayers! And we wonder why our insurance premiums are so high? Idiots like these people.
But wait! There's more! So I guess that some local television station caught wind of this precious bundle of resource-users and put them on the air. And then some channel decided it would be a swell idea to subject the nation to them.
I'm right, aren't I? Even having never watched this sorry excuse for entertainment, I know I'm spot on.
So as far as I can tell, all the show consists of is the two parents complaining about how much work it is to raise eight kids. And we are supposed to be amazed at them and their brood. Hey: YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELVES. Remember? So now we have to watch you complain about your kids on national television. I guess our insurance premiums will be going up even further once you start paying for years of therapy for each of those snotlings of yours.
And just imagine the SUV strollers those people were carting around. I hate them even more at the thought of it.
And the really sickening thing? I was in a bookstore the other day. The store had a display of newly-released biographies. These people have a book out! Why?!?! In in the HELL do we also need some book about these people? Are then done squeezing money out of their side-show of kids? Have we slipped so low as a society that the mundane lives of people with kids is more interesting than the biography of Wernher von Braun that was also sitting on that shelf?
I bought the von Braun biography.
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2 comments:
Sadly, I must admit that I used to watch this show regularly (as a healthy dose of contraception) and found it entertaining in a sideshow sort of way, but winced every time Kate spoke to Jon (I hope that I don't talk to Cory like that...). After a conversation with an annoying girl at work about how much she LOVED the show, I decided to stop watching. It seems that many people are fascinated but an equal number are repulsed (see: http://kateisashrew.blogspot.com/). You got the essence of the show pretty much spot on, but you forgot about the part where they expect everyone to give them free (matching) stuff to support an un-supportably-large family on only a reality show pittance. Due to the demands of whoring out their children to TLC, neither Jon or Kate are able to work. I just can't wait for the ill-tempered twin Maddy's tell-all book. Oh, and they didn't actually write their book, their friend did.
Ah, I'm glad I'm not the only person out there who hates them. All I ever see in the commercials is Kate sniping about something. And to know that they gave up their jobs to exploit their kids full-time makes me hate them even more....grrr.
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