Our downstairs neighbor stopped by the day we were unpacking to say hello. Somehow we ended up in her apartment, looking at her Wii and Wii Fit. She stopped by later and brought us some chocolate-covered strawberries. Very nice, although she also said that she'd taken the week off work to teach vacation bible school at her church. Uh oh.
AND she showed us her spare "goodies" refrigerator in their garage. Dr. Nate noticed there was no beer in it. How does one keep a goodies refrigerator in their garage with nothing but Snapple and yogurt in it? I thought the whole point of an extra refrigerator was to store copious amounts of liquor. Hell, this is Pennsylvania - ya gotta stock up on beer for the lean times, ya know?
Either way, she is very nice and I am assuming her husband is as well (we haven't met him. Apparently, the men folk don't have to take off work to teach vacation bible school).
Then the doorbell rang today. And our nice, previously chocolate-covered-strawberry-toting neighbor was now toting something quite different. An invitation to join them in worship at their church. *Sigh* I was upstairs on a step ladder hoisting boxes into a closet, so it was Dr. Nate who answered the door. Which was probably a good thing for all involved. Although both Dr. Nate and I suspected this invitation would be forthcoming...I mean, you take vacation from work and, instead of going to the beach or visiting friends, you teach bible school? Then you're probably one to proselytize. Good thing was that she wasn't very pushy (well, except for the fact that she rang our doorbell and foisted a church service invitation at us, which is highly pushy in my anti-religous book).
So, how does one politely tell a very nice person who happens to have different beliefs than you that you are a beer-swilling, heathen, atheist devil-spawn? Without being burned at the stake OR offending your extremely nice and well-meaning neighbors? Or at least let her know that you thank her very much for her well-meaning-ness, but aren't interested in her invitation?
Luckily she's Lutheran and not some fire-breathing, yeshallallburnifyoudonotacceptjesusasyourlordandsavior type. Then I really would expect her to start building the bonfire in the parking lot.
And it could be worse. She could be a mormon.
6 comments:
Oh that's easy. You just say:
"Oh, jeepers, thanks and all... but I play D&D."
I'll try that if she approaches us again. Much better idea than my original plan which was to start wearing monks' robes around the house and going outside and chanting a lot.
There was a knock on my door, and a couple of ladies were there.
Lady: "Hi, how are you today?"
Me: "I'm fine, thanks."
Lady: "Would you agree that Jesus Christ was the greatest person to have ever lived?"
Me: "Not really."
Lady: ***look of horror***
Now if she had asked the same question about Chesty Puller, then we might have a good talk.
I've always found saying "I'm Catholic" makes all manner or door knocking religious folks turn and run.
LOL, Brando! And maybe the "I'm Catholic" thing might work if Nate said he, since TECHNICALLY he is Catholic...kinda...
I suppose I could tell her I'm Zoroastrian.
We also have found ourselves in a new level of religious conservatism. At many times we have had to bite our tongues in our new surroundings. Mindy's school picnic the other night opened with a prayer for the food and so did her first school inservice day. (Yes, it is a public school.) Luckily the one liquor store in town is willing to get me any flavor of beer I fancy, which this week is Fat Tire Mothership Wit. Of course, Mindy has to go buy it so no one sees me there.
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