Not Like When I Was Six

Dr. Nate and I were having a discussion the other day on whether or not things from our childhood are as good now as we remember them. Case in point: Tang.

I remember having Tang as a kid and it was always most excellently tasty. Expect for when my grandmother, Mümmy, made it. She used 1 teaspoon Tang drink mix per 5 gallons of water. Basically, it was just orange-colored water. But when in the proper ratio of mix:water it was good stuff.

But is Tang just as good as I remember it? Heck, do they still make Tang?

Why yes, Virginia, they DO still make Tang, as evidenced by the bottom shelf of the "drink mix" section of the Schnucks grocery store in Savoy, Illinois. I bought the last (or was it the only?) container. Following the directions on the package, I carefully measured out the appropriate amount of powdered mix for two cups of water. The water immediately turned neon. A lot like Kryptonite, only orange.

It appears Kraft purchased an old radium watch dial factory on the cheap and is using it to manufacture Tang. I shudder to think what the reading on a Geiger counter is when stuck in a glass of the stuff.

Interesting Day-Glo color aside, the stuff is plain awful. Dr. Nate thought so, too. Sickly sweet (as you'd expect). Even when the ratio of mix:water was adjusted to Mümmy-like weakness, it still was exceedingly nasty.

I suppose I will donate the leftover mix to NASA. I'm sure the astronauts still drink it.

What's up with the weird name for my grandmother, you ask? It's because I couldn't pronounce "Mütti" when I was very young; it came out as "Mümmy." "Mütti" having been family slang (or perhaps just general German slang) or "Mutter."